No Spiritual Abuse Allowed at Our Church

God, Please save Lord Of Life Lutheran from practicing spiritual abuse...... While searching in the internet on the topic of spiritual abuse the blog site Provender (http://pureprovender.blogspot.com/) was discovered. It exists to serve as “A clearinghouse of sources on spiritual abuse and cult-like practices in churches and groups”(Provender). They define spiritual abuse happens “when leaders exercise control over members' personal daily activities, or when they use mind games, power trips, subtle cruelties or manipulative preaching from the pulpit” (Provender – Red Flags). The common pastoral pitfalls that were found in many of the accounts of pastoral failures were summarized in their article titled Red Flags. The pastor practices elitism where he comes to believe that his church is the best. It has the best and purest doctrine. In his mind his church is superior to other churches and he is also superior to other pastors. The article next mentions “milieu control” which is limiting the amount of information available to individuals. He attempts to portray the church in the best possible light. Image is everything. There is an “in” crowd that is in the know and only they are trusted with the correct interpretation of the facts. It is interesting to note that many times this control starts with preserving the church’s pure doctrine, a trap our church body can easily fall into. As the pastor and his special “in crowd” take over the organization they can get more and more authoritarian. It is their way or the highway. Next comes the lure of financial power and he and his crowd lavish themselves with luxuries. One pastor had air conditioned dog houses for his pets. “How does this happen? Possibly, these once godly leaders have sacrificed much over the course of their lives while watching other Christians live luxuriant lives. When the church begins to do well, they see this as a sign that it’s “their turn now,” that they deserve some blessings because they have served so long and so hard for very little. Soon, that feeling of dessert takes over and they feel entitled to more and more” (Provender – Red Flags). Then the pastor can become convinced that his mind and God’s mind have become fused. “They soon begin to see their own actions as God’s. Anyone who opposes them is opposing God. When this happens, watch out. They won’t phrase it that way. They may not even realize what they are doing. They feel they have a special place as God’s best spokesperson. Because they are so special, they have a role in rooting out imperfections among lesser Christians” (Provender – Red Flags). Down the spiral the pastor and his followers go. They become harsh and very demanding. They are constantly calling for unity as they seek to root out those who question their decisions. Finally people begin to leave in droves as they wake up to the fact that they are being abused and are following false doctrine. Also on the internet B. Jackson’s review on the book Toxic Faith by Stephen Arterburn & Jack Felton (http://www.philosophy-religion.org/criticism/toxicfaith.htm) serves as a great resource to help identify the thoughts, actions, beliefs, thinking patterns, systems and roles that can lead people into an unhealthy toxic faith. Especially interesting was the “10 Roles of a Toxic Faith System: 1. The leader must be in control of every aspect at all times 2. When problems arise, find a guilty party to blame immediately 3. Don't make mistakes 4. Never point out the reality of a situation 5. Never express your feelings unless they are positive 6. Don't ask questions, especially if they are tough ones 7. Don't do anything outside your role 8. Don't trust anyone 9. Nothing is more important than giving money to the organization 10. At all costs, keep up the image of the organization or the family” (B. Jacksons review on the book Toxic Faith). Just reading these roles was chilling as one can readily see how they can be portrayed in any church. As one looks to the scriptures one reads the warning “’Woe to the shepherds who are destroying and scattering the sheep of my pasture!’ declares the LORD. Therefore this is what the LORD, the God of Israel, says to the shepherds who tend my people: ‘Because you have scattered my flock and driven them away and have not bestowed care on them, I will bestow punishment on you for the evil you have done,’ declares the LORD. ‘I myself will gather the remnant of my flock out of all the countries where I have driven them and will bring them back to their pasture, where they will be fruitful and increase in number. 4 I will place shepherds over them who will tend them, and they will no longer be afraid or terrified, nor will any be missing,’ declares the LORD.” (Jeremiah 23:1 – 4) The writers of Toxic faith do not leave us just looking at the negative signs. They end by accounting for the “Characteristics of a Healthy Faith 1. Focusing on a personal relationship with God in Christ, not religion 2. Looking to God to meet the needs for security and significance 3. Growing in faith as evidenced by walking into pain 4. Respect for the personhood of others 5. Serving others for their sake 6. Being vulnerable 7. A trusting atmosphere 8. Celebrating uniqueness by recognizing people's spiritual gifts 9. Relationships being the heart of everything 10. People being taught to think 11. Balanced thinking rather than extremes in black and white 12. Non defensive 13. Non judgmental 14. Reality based 15. Able to embrace our emotions 16. Able to embrace our humanity as evidenced in the ability to allow for mistakes 17. The ability to laugh (B. Jacksons review on the book Toxic Faith). God grant these characteristics to the churches that we serve. The contrasts are stark. The abusive pastor does not edify the body of believers while the healthy pastor does. The abusive pastor is under the authority of no one while the healthy pastor readily submits. The church fathers knew how dangerous this was. “ But when he (the pastor) no longer edifies the congregation, neither by doctrine nor life, but destroys it, then God Himself deposes him ... In that case the congregation not only can but also must remove such a person from his office, for as God calls by means, so also He deposes through means” (Loci Theologici, “De eccl.,” 331). After reading the review one will want to buy a copy of the book and read it on a yearly basis.